Monday, March 11, 2013

I Knew you Could Do it


1: I’m trying to tell the reader it is possible to do anything you want. You just have to believe in yourself.
2: It was easy to explain why he wanted to win the obstacle course.
3: It seemed hard to write over 1000 words
4: No questions.
I Knew You Could Do it
by: Dominic Florence

It was an early Saturday morning in late July and I, Ty Williams, am training for the Down and Dirty obstacle course. I have ran 3 miles every day and gone to the gym every morning. My daily routine consists of a healthy fruit breakfast followed by working my legs out at the gym and then a nap and a salad for lunch. After lunch I drink a protein shake (preferably mango) and go for a 3 mile run around town. While I run around town, I stop at the senior center and help serve food to them. After I run, I go home, drink water and go to bed at a decent time and repeat that process every day.
Sunday July 27th: “Today I go to a training camp down in Connecticut to work on my swiftness and agility.” Ty says. The class is called MegaMax.  Each day we work on a different part of the body. My schedule is Legs, Core, Shoulders and Chest, and Biceps and Triceps.  My two favorite are legs and Biceps and Triceps, because those are the two most important muscles I need to win the obstacle course. Some people say I cheat and use steroids but that is not true, I am just really big because I work out all the time and I am confident I will win.  It is one of my lifelong dreams and now I actually have a chance!...My class just got over and I am going out to lunch with the really pretty girl I met, she is in my class and her name is Alyssa, she is tan with brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. She is also training for something, but not as hard as mine, she is only training for a 7k race. I took her to a fancy place called the Pepper Garden where we both ordered a fruit salad and a water. “You have good taste in food.” Alyssa said.
“This is all I eat now, nothing unhealthy” Ty answered.
“So what made you want to do such a deadly obstacle course?” asked Alyssa.
“Well when I was young, I lost my dad in an obstacle course like this, he was in first place the whole time and right at the end he collapsed from an asthma attack and died. Now I want to prove to him I could be like him and win one of these, just like he had asthma and competed, I have scoliosis and I am going to compete.” He explained.
“Wow, i’m really sorry to hear that. Its terrible to lose someone from something so little, I hope you win.” She said sadly.
“Thank you.” Ty answered. “How about you come over after dinner and have a workout session? I have a video to follow.” He asked.
“I would love to.” Alyssa said with delight.
Later on that day when they went to Ty’s House:
Alyssa walks into his house and is amazed by how nice and big it is. “Okay now go downstairs and wait, i’ll be down in a sec with water.” he said.
“Okay.” She replied. When Ty came downstairs Alyssa was taking off her sweatshirt and he was amazed by her body. She wore a sports bra to workout and Ty wore a cutoff. They worked out for about an hour and a half and then Alyssa had to go back home. On her way out Alyssa said “we should do this again sometime!”
“Yes we should.” Ty responded.
Next morning, Ty woke up and found out he had the day off from camp. So he ate his usual healthy fruit breakfast and went to the gym, after the gym he came home, had a salad with a protein shake. He did not go for his 3 mile run today, instead he went to the store and bought a top of the line Treadmill. He thought that would be a better idea than going outside to run every day. When he went home he set it up and run for an hour. After he drank water and went to bed.
“Today is the big day!” He yelled. “the day of the Down and Dirty!”
He hopped out of bed, went downstairs, made a protein shake and a Fruit salad. Drank and ate all of it then went back upstairs to change and brush his teeth. He wore the lightest clothes he could. He packed a bag with water and extra clothes for after and was on his way up to New Hampshire. It was a one and a half hour ride up there, When he got there, he said “Wow! There are so many people here.” He went into the main building to check in. After he checked in they put a piece of paper on him with a number on it, his number is 1927, he remembers that number from somewhere and realized.. It was the same number his dad was in this course.
“I have to win this!” he yelled. The race consists of 10 obstacles.
The buzzer sounded which meant for all the contestants to go to the starting line. All 20 people lined up, looking at each other, they all had fear in there eyes. “POW” the bullet gets shot. Everyone takes off, “I start in second place.” one person in front of Ty, the first obstacle is coming up, it is to climb up and jump over a 15 foot wall. Easily everyone makes it over. The second obstacle is a mud slide, contestants have to climb up a slide that is covered in mud.
    Ty has made it through all the obstacles with no problems.. Now he is starting to feel some pain in his back because of his scoliosis. He doesn't know if he can finish, the next obstacle is to crawl under a barbed wire fence in mud, if you stand up you with get cut. He takes a break for a couple seconds and continues. He is still in second place and the guy in front of him is just a couple seconds ahead. He goes for it. Ty dives down into the mud and begins to crawl, not to long into the mud his back starts to hurt again, he is only about half way through and he pushes himself to the end. Finally he makes it through. Now, Ty is on the last obstacle. It is to jump over a gap of fire! "Who would even make this an obstacle!?" Ty yelled. He backs up as far as he can and  starts to run, he has caught up to the guy in first and they are neck and neck. Both running for the fire at the same speed, they jump. Ty makes it over and looks next to him to find out they guy is no longer there. Ty stop's. He looks back only to see that he had fallen and died in the fire pit. He can’t look at the man’s burnt body. He continues to finish the obstacle course in first place. "I DID IT!" He screamed. He is tearing up and thinks back to the day  when his dad died in this and says "I did this for you dad." Right away he called his mother to tell her the good news and then Alyssa. "I knew I could do it.”

1 comment:

  1. l. Ty wanted finish obstacle course. this was an external problem. it was resolved by him finishing the course.
    ll. Ty didn't really change over time, there wasn't really an antagonist. Ty developed alot over the span of this course story. this change is important because with out it Ty wouldn't have been able to do the course.
    lll. my favorite part of the story is when the guy that jumps over the pit of fire doesn't make the jump and dies. it happened in the falling action.
    lV the best quality is the falling action when Ty is doing the course.
    V.the theme of this story is to never give up on your dreams.
    Vl the only thing you need to do is to re look at the story and fix a couple of the mistakes

    ReplyDelete